Tommy Cannon is a cartoonist, a writer, comedian, and puppeteer. He brings a balance of comedy and absurdity to his projects such as "Fred the Mustard Packet", "Dr. Zombie", and Philip 'The Room's Denny' Haldiman's "My Big Break". Tommy lives, works, and plays in Phoenix, Arizona. Photo by Steph Carrico.
Tommy Cannon • July 6, 2020
In the Galaxy of Cereal, Quisp is the Real Cap’n
by Tommy Cannon
What makes Quisp better than Cap’n Crunch? They have the same flavor. They both come from Quaker. Their respective mascots were both designed by animation artist Jay Ward. Cap’n Crunch has a ship that sails the high seas. Quisp has a ship that travels through the vacuum of space.
Maybe Quisp has the advantage there.
Quisp’s voice seems to be a terrible impersonation of Jerry Lewis. Cap’n Crunch sounds like he has a voice that’s his and his alone.
Perhaps the Cap’n gets some points for that.
Also, Captain Crunch is two years older than Quisp. Quisp came out in 1965, Cap’n Crunch was out in 1963. Maybe if Quaker got it right in the first place, Quisp may not have ever existed.
Perhaps the good Cap'n was hoping for a Quispy takeoff in his own limited-edition release?
How can it be better?
Each bit of Quisp cereal is smoother and more dense than a bit of Cap’n Crunch. This makes it less likely to hurt the inside of your mouth as you chew it. Don’t get me wrong - I love Cap’n Crunch too. It just happens to hold the silver medal while Quisp is bouncing from planet to planet with the gold medal.
I know that in this post-1976 world, we can only enjoy Quisp if we order it online at a high price.
However, if you want to know what Quisp is like, just dig into some Cap'n Crunch and imagine it is as smooth as Fruit Loops.
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